My Ex won’t let me see the kids – 5 things you can do

1. Try to speak to your ex. He or she is probably angry or hurting about your separation. Sometimes it’s difficult to speak to each other – maybe a friend of family member could be there to help make that easier, and make sure emotions don’t get too high?
2. Write to your ex. Putting things in writing can get your point across clearly without emotions getting in the way. Ask him or her to consider agreeing days and times you can each look after the children. Keep it polite – remember emails, texts, etc can’t be changed after they have been sent.
3. Speak to someone about how much you are hurting or how angry you feel. It can be good to speak to someone who is not a friend or family member – they always have opinions and loyalty and getting an objective point of view can be difficult. There are lots of counsellors or therapists who can help www.if.therapy.co.uk – or maybe someone at work, or someone else who has experienced a separation. Families Need Fathers www.fnfscotland.org.uk or Mothers Apart from their Children https://www.matchmothers.org There are lots of organisations who can help parents in your situation. Mediation can also be an alternative www.calmscotland.co.uk
4. Write to your children. It’s important to them that you keep in touch in some way – so they know you are there, and that you are thinking about them. Sometimes, a text will do, or maybe you can skype or facetime. Maybe your number will have been blocked. You can post a card or a note or a letter – maybe your children will not receive it but maybe they will. It will mean a lot that you took the time and care enough to try.
5. Speak to a solicitor – office@mfypartnership.co.uk. This is a common situation for us to be asked about. We know how to help you, how to write to your ex, or his/her solicitor. We know the law. We know the courts take the view it is best for your children to spend time with both parents. We know it is likely the court will grant you an order allowing you regular contact (access) with your children. It is their right to have regular time with you and your extended family. Call us on 01236-607180 – we can help.